Once Upon A Time...
An average-looking man named Steve and an incredibly gorgeous woman named Cori discovered a mistake had been made when they boarded a trans-continental train. Despite not being married, nor had they ever met before, they had been assigned to the same sleeper room.
Now Steve wasn't about to complain. I mean, he was average-looking so he thought sharing close quarters with the incredibly gorgeous Cori would be something to write about in his diary. His life was pretty dull, and usually he had to make stuff up in order to fill the diary pages.
Cori, however, was horrified. This was to be her first vacation without her whiney, needy, weenie of a husband. For fifteen years she waited on him hand and foot, giving him the best years of her life, but he never seemed satisfied. Finally, she'd had enough. She got a head-to-toe makeover, gave the weenie his walking papers, and was now taking her first vacation as a Free Woman!
However, she was exhausted and Average Steve looked harmless enough, so she figured she would allow him to stay just one night, and then would make him sleep in the dining car the next. Soon they fell asleep, Steve in the upper berth and Cori in the lower.
However around 1:00 AM, Steve woke Cori by saying, ‘I’m sorry to bother you, but would you reach into the closet and get me a second blanket? My feet are freezing. And while you're up, could you get me a glass of water and some aspirin? I have a headache. Oh, and do you have any Chapstick? My lips feel tender. And....'
‘I have a better idea,’ Cori interrupted with a sultry tone of voice. ‘Just for tonight, Steve...let’s pretend that we’re married.’
‘Wow!' Steve exclaimed, envisioning several pages in his diary filled with honest-to-goodness real stuff that had happened to him. 'That’s a great idea!’
‘Good,’ she purred. ’Get your own damn blanket.’
Stunned speechless, Steve lay freezing in the dark. Then he farted.