June 10, 2013

#BedtimeStory with a Vet

Once Upon A Time...
A man walks into the vet's office with a cage covered with a cloth. He places it on the table and carefully removes the cover. "I'd like you to examine my iguana please," said the man. "He's been very inactive lately."
The lizard is stiff as a board and lying on the floor of the cage. It smells.
The vet opens the cage door and removes the iguana. He examines it closely, mainly to humor the man who has clearly not yet come to terms with the death of his pet.
"I'm sorry sir, your iguana is dead," says the vet.
"No, it can't be, we've been together for years," wails the man. "I demand a second opinion."
The vet shrugs, leaves the room and returns with an orange cat named @TiggyBean. He places Tiggy on the table where the lizard lies and then steps back. Tiggy circles the lizard, taking the occasional sniff and patting the corpse with his paw. Then, about thirty seconds later it turns to the vet and says, "Miaaooaaw! Meow meow Mieowmewww meow."
The mans asks the vet what the cat said. "He says your iguana is dead, sir."
"No! No, no! I don't believe it!" cries the man, "I demand a third opinion."
The vet shrugs, leaves the room and returns with a yellow dog named @SawyertheLab. He shows Sawyer the iguana and again steps back. Sawyer performs a similar examination of the lizard before turning to the vet and saying, "Woof! Bark, bark, growl. Woof, woof, bark."
The man asks what the dog just said. "Sawyer says your iguana is dead, sir."
The man hangs his head in sadness and says, "Well, if you all say that my beloved iguana is dead, then I suppose he must be. What do I owe you?"
"$450," says the vet.
"$450," shouts the man. "How the hell did you come up with that figure?"
"Well it's $50 for me," said the vet. "$200 for that cat scan and $200 for the lab tests."

I know. Tonight's #BedtimStory was a real knee-slapper! Thanks for stopping by and reading.

Please note #BedtimeStory will be told on Monday night and Wednesday night at 9 pm EST.

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 I'm entered in Modern Cat beauty contest to appear on their magazine cover.k If you haz the time, I'd appreciate your vote.
I chose this photo cuz I look extra-intelligent...instead of crabby or bored or constipated.

 Please go to www.modern.cat.com/photocontest and type in Herman in search box. You can vote once every 12 hours for one cat. Contest ends June 28th.
This month I will publish my very own monthly mewsletter called ‘kick the litter’. It will be fun-packed with stuff about my private life, my career as a mews to my author mom, and stories from my past adventures in Kentucky and Pensacola. It also might have stuff about rescuing and raccoons since my mom likes to channel her inner Elly Mae and has a whole bunch of critters camping in our yard.

Mark your calendars for Saturday, June 22nd at 11:00 a.m. EST. I'm marrying my sweetiepie, Belle, @Frankencat1. #BelleHerm will be an EPIC wedding with a Cast of Thousands. The most pawsome wedding photos to date thanks to the wonderpurr @DanaPixie.

Anyway! Sign up for my mewsletter on the right, and for your trouble I will send you the first chapter of my forthcoming book called You Can't Be A Sidekick Without A Superhero, written by my mom, Kimberley Koz. And if you haven't done so already, follow me Herman!!! @TattleCat and my sisfur @Chef_Gidget on Twitter. And I haz my own Facebook Page as Herman.Tattlecat.
Goodnight, Sweet Dreams, and haz a Happily Ever After evening!



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