July 15, 2013

#GiveAHoot for our pal @LiveLoveMeow

Rallying around pals in time of need is what Anipal's do best.

Right now we need you to

#GiveAHoot

about our dear pal Lou
 @LiveLoveMeow


Friday, July 26, 7 - 10 PM EDT
Please RSVP to: http://twtvite.com/GiveAHoot

There will be fun, food, and great prizes! All for a good cause.

Plus we get to dress up like owls and eat mouse noms!


GET YOUR HOOT ON!


@ArcherPaws and me, Herman
Belle @Frankencat1
@3Phibotticelli

July 10, 2013

#BedtimeStory with a Pirate

Once Upon A Time...

I was down by the docks when I saw an old sailor that looked just like a pirate from the movies with a peg-leg and an eye-patch. He even a hook for a hand!

I guess I was staring at him because he came stamping over to me and said, "Arrrr! I saw ye lookin at me! Bet yer wond'rin hows I got this peg-leg? Well... it was HORRIBLE!"

Actually, I didn't want to hear the details, but he sat me down and started to tell me anyway.

"Me ship was a cannonading another ship, when they lets go with a broadside themselves," said the pirate. "Whoooom, off goes me leg. Arrrrr!"

Then he turned to walk away when suddenly he turned back and said, "Arrrr. I saw ye still lookin at me! Bet yer wond'rin hows I got this hook fer a hand? Well... it was HORRIBLE!"

Again, I didn't want to hear the details, but there he was, all set to tell me his story.

"Me ship was boarded by Malay pirates and we all draws swords and thrusts and parrys and parrys and thrusts! But I thrusted when I should'a parried. Whomp, off goes me hand! Arrrrr!"

Then he turned to walk away when suddenly he turned back and says... "Arrrr. I saw ye STILL lookin at me! Bet yer wond'rin hows I got this eyepatch? Well... it was HORRIBLE!"

Anxious to get away from this guy cuz I had to go widdle pretty bad, I inpurr-rupted him and said, "I bet you got an itch in your eye and forgot you had a hook for a hand. Arrrrr!"

At that, the old pirate stamped his way down the dock, never once looking back at me.

Moral of the story is, if you has to widdle real bad, avoid pirates.


June 26, 2013

#BelleHerm Wedding Review

On June 22nd my lovely Belle and I exchanged vows and became Mr. & Mrs. We trended #1 almost immediately and stayed that way long after we left for our honeymoon. The day was lovely, special -- romantic -- all the things a couple in love would want their special day to be.

Below is ShaynaCat's review for The Anipal Times of our wedding.

Bride and Groom with Ring-bearer @JeffMusk: #BelleHerm
Bride and Groom with Ring-bearer @JeffMusk: #BelleHerm
It was a beautiful sunny day on Mackinac Island and the Lilac Festival was in full bloom for the wedding of Herman @TattleCat and his beautiful bride Belle @Frankencat1 on Saturday. Hostess Marie @cats_meows welcomed the arriving guests and @DylCat1 proved a very conscientious guest book attendant, encouraging the couple’s many friends to add their pawtographs and good wishes. The bride was a vision of loveliness in her gorgeous off-the-shoulder white satin gown trimmed with delicately hand-embroidered lilac lace and carrying a sweet-scented bouquet of lilac and gardenias. The groom looked superb in his pale gray suit, white waistcoat, lilac tie and white gloves, carrying a pale gray silk top hat and wearing a matching gardenia in his lapel. Ringbearer @JeffMusk looked magnificent in his lilac silk top hat as he carried the rings, resplendent on their butterfly-shaped lilac cushion, to present to the couple.
#BelleHerm Phi
Bridesmaid who caught the bouquet: @3phibotticelli at #BelleHerm
Naturally, Twitter chose the worst possible moment to misbehave, freezing just as the couple took their vows, but this provided a very touching moment at the end of the ceremony as Belle and Herman made their vows again so that this time all of the assembled guests could hear. After the excellent speeches by @NerissaTheCat and @TweetingTruman Belle and Herman cut the elegant three-tier wedding cake, with its smooth white frosting decorated with a lavish overlay of flowers carefully hand-sculpted in lilac frosting, then the dancing began. After their romantic first dance together, Belle and Herman entertained their guests with an all-action version of the Chicken Dance. All too soon it was time for the couple to leave in their beautiful white open-topped carriage drawn by a pair of magnificent white carriage-horses, their harnesses, like the carriage itself, lavishly decorated with sprigs of lilac, and pals rushed to get their bags of nip and popcorn to toss at Belle and Herman for good luck. There was one more formality to complete first, though, and bridesmaids and single girl-cats gathered behind Belle as she prepared to toss her bouquet. It sailed high into the air before landing in the paws of bridesmaid @3phibotticelli. Excited pals gathered around her, eager to find out who the lucky bridegroom might be, but Phi smilingly declined to comment. As the happy couple left for their honeymoon, reports coming in from all over the Twitterverse that the event had trended #1 endorsed the opinion of all present that it had been a wonderful occasion, and many glasses of nip champagne were raised in toasts to Belle and Herman’s lasting happiness.

If you would like to look at our wedding album, please click the below picture:
 

June 10, 2013

#BedtimeStory with a Vet


Once Upon A Time...
 
A man walks into the vet's office with a cage covered with a cloth. He places it on the table and carefully removes the cover. "I'd like you to examine my iguana please," said the man. "He's been very inactive lately."
The lizard is stiff as a board and lying on the floor of the cage. It smells.
The vet opens the cage door and removes the iguana. He examines it closely, mainly to humor the man who has clearly not yet come to terms with the death of his pet.
"I'm sorry sir, your iguana is dead," says the vet.
"No, it can't be, we've been together for years," wails the man. "I demand a second opinion."
The vet shrugs, leaves the room and returns with an orange cat named @TiggyBean. He places Tiggy on the table where the lizard lies and then steps back. Tiggy circles the lizard, taking the occasional sniff and patting the corpse with his paw. Then, about thirty seconds later it turns to the vet and says, "Miaaooaaw! Meow meow Mieowmewww meow."
The mans asks the vet what the cat said. "He says your iguana is dead, sir."
"No! No, no! I don't believe it!" cries the man, "I demand a third opinion."
The vet shrugs, leaves the room and returns with a yellow dog named @SawyertheLab. He shows Sawyer the iguana and again steps back. Sawyer performs a similar examination of the lizard before turning to the vet and saying, "Woof! Bark, bark, growl. Woof, woof, bark."
The man asks what the dog just said. "Sawyer says your iguana is dead, sir."
The man hangs his head in sadness and says, "Well, if you all say that my beloved iguana is dead, then I suppose he must be. What do I owe you?"
"$450," says the vet.
"$450," shouts the man. "How the hell did you come up with that figure?"
"Well it's $50 for me," said the vet. "$200 for that cat scan and $200 for the lab tests."

I know. Tonight's #BedtimStory was a real knee-slapper! Thanks for stopping by and reading.

Please note #BedtimeStory will be told on Monday night and Wednesday night at 9 pm EST.

If you would like to receive your #BedtimeStory in your mailbox, please sign up for Email delivery, or GooglePlus, or even Follow Me on either NetworkedBlogs or as a Google follower.

 I'm entered in Modern Cat beauty contest to appear on their magazine cover.k If you haz the time, I'd appreciate your vote.
I chose this photo cuz I look extra-intelligent...instead of crabby or bored or constipated.

 Please go to www.modern.cat.com/photocontest and type in Herman in search box. You can vote once every 12 hours for one cat. Contest ends June 28th.
This month I will publish my very own monthly mewsletter called ‘kick the litter’. It will be fun-packed with stuff about my private life, my career as a mews to my author mom, and stories from my past adventures in Kentucky and Pensacola. It also might have stuff about rescuing and raccoons since my mom likes to channel her inner Elly Mae and has a whole bunch of critters camping in our yard.

Mark your calendars for Saturday, June 22nd at 11:00 a.m. EST. I'm marrying my sweetiepie, Belle, @Frankencat1. #BelleHerm will be an EPIC wedding with a Cast of Thousands. The most pawsome wedding photos to date thanks to the wonderpurr @DanaPixie.

Anyway! Sign up for my mewsletter on the right, and for your trouble I will send you the first chapter of my forthcoming book called You Can't Be A Sidekick Without A Superhero, written by my mom, Kimberley Koz. And if you haven't done so already, follow me Herman!!! @TattleCat and my sisfur @Chef_Gidget on Twitter. And I haz my own Facebook Page as Herman.Tattlecat.
Goodnight, Sweet Dreams, and haz a Happily Ever After evening!

Herman!!!

 

June 7, 2013

#BedtimeStory with...Lucy Liberte!


Once Upon A Time...

A sweet elephant named @LucyLiberte lay asleep in her cold cage-barn at a Canadian zoo, dreaming of the day she would be free to move to a warm climate where she would have friends.

In her dream, Lucy wandered through a forest on a bright, sunny day. She delighted at the feel of lush grass beneath her sore feet, and brushed her face against tree branches filled with thick leaves, something she didn't have in captivity. The sunshine on her back warmed her, and seemed to soothe her aching, arthritic bones. "If only I had friends, then my life would be perfect," she said to herself. Lucy was used to talking to herself because at the zoo she wasn't given any friends, and the humans were often too busy to socialize with her for very long.

As she walked along, breathing in the sweet fragrance of Freedom! she saw a monkey in a tree. “I'm finally free from captivity after 35 years," she told the monkey. "Will you be my friend?”

The monkey gazed down at Lucy, hanging from a branch by his tail. “You're too big and can't swing from trees like me. Besides, I have lots of friends. I don't need one more.” 

Sad, but accustomed to disappointment, Lucy continued to walk through the forest, enjoying her Freedom! when she next met a rabbit. "I've spent most of my life wishing for someone to play with," she told the rabbit. "Would you be my friend?"

“Sorry," said the rabbit. "I have a lot of friends, so I don't need you. Besides, you are too big to play in my burrow.”

"It must be nice to have so many friends you don't need one more," Lucy said to herself. She came to a pond where she drank deeply, enjoying the taste of Freedom! When she heard low, throaty croaking, she spied a frog sitting on a nearby rock “You have a lovely voice," she told him. "I would enjoy hearing you sing every night. Will you be my friend?”

“I have loads of toads for friends," said the frog. "Plus, you're too big to play leap-frog with me.”

Fighting tears, Lucy said, "I spent my whole life in captivity, mostly alone. Now I'm Free!, but I'm still lonely. I don't understand. What is it about being big that makes me unacceptable to be someone's friend?"

Suddenly, Lucy saw all the animals in the forest running for their lives. She stopped a tiger to ask, "What is everyone afraid of?"

“There is a human in the forest," said @TonyTiger2000. "He’s setting fire to the trees.”

Watching the animals run with terror, Lucy wondered what she could do to stop the human. Finally, she walked up behind the man and said, “Please, mister. Do not burn down this forest. You will kill the animals.”

“This is a controlled burn,” the man said without turning around. "We are burning only to stimulate new growth. No harm will come to the animals." Then he turned and looked at her with surprise. "You're a talking elephant!"

"Well..." said Lucy, not knowing how else to respond.

The man said, "You could be famous. Not famous like Reality TV people. Famous like..." He named several people Lucy didn't know because she had lived whole her life in a zoo and never had a television in her barn.

"I don't care about being famous." Lucy told him. "I've been held captive all my life. Now I'm free, but no one wants to be my friend because I'm... plus size. Freedom! is wonderful, but with no one to share it with, I may as well be back in my cold cage-barn. I just want a friend."

The man gazed into Lucy's liquid brown eyes, and sighed. "I understand. I have all the money in the world, but I can't trust people because they want my money and I don't know who my friends really are." He stroked Lucy's cheek. "I will be your friend. Come home with me. I have a huge house with lots of space and a giant swimming pool. Together we will be each others best friend."

At that moment a noise woke Lucy. Finding herself still alone and held captive in her cold cage-barn where she was destined to live out her days, she wept. Her dream had seemed so real! But it wasn't.


Then she heard someone say, "I have all the money in the world. I can buy anything I want, and I want to buy Lucy."

With surprise Lucy saw the man in her dream standing on the other side of her cage. Was she still dreaming? Could this be real?

With tears of joy, Lucy watched the zookeeper accept a wad of cash, then open her cage. She rushed to the man who hugged her tight, then took her home. There Lucy saw several other elephants, and a tiger named Tony who joyfully greeted her, and welcomed her to their family.

And so Lucy lived happily ever after with the man of her dreams.

Sadly, tonight my story is truly make-believe, because our friend, @LucyLiberte continues to be held captive by a zoo that isn't listening to experts who say she needs to be relocated to a warmer climate where she can socialize with other elephants, and become healthy again.

Back on March 10, 2013 we had a TWEETSTORM in Lucy's honor. Maybe we can stir up another storm and get the attention of the right hoomans who can get Lucy released into one of the sanctuaries who have invited her to live with them.

Below is Lucy's profile, and at the bottom is a button to click to visit her website. There is also a button to click to visit Lucy's beloved @TonyTiger2000 who is also being held captive in a horrible Louisiana road side attraction of all places!

LUCY'S PROFILE



Name: Lucy
Age: 35
Genus: Elephant
Species: Asian
Years of Service: 33
Current Employer: Valley Zoo/City of Edmonton

Biography
Lucy, a beautiful Asian elephant, arrived at the Valley Zoo on May 19, 1977. She came to Edmonton from the Pinnewala Orphanage in Sri Lanka. Since there were no records of her birth it was estimated that she was approximately two years of age – so Lucy is 35 now! Lucy lived alone at the zoo for 12 years. Then Samantha, a female African elephant, was brought to the zoo to keep Lucy company. In 2007, Samantha was sent to the North Carolina Zoo on a long-term breeding loan and Lucy was left alone again.
Lucy's life in Edmonton does not even compare with what her life could be if she was moved to a sanctuary. Currently, she lives a very solitary life with only human contact during “working hours”. Female elephants are highly social and suffer greatly when kept in isolation. Edmonton's freezing winter weather and the zoo's policy of locking Lucy indoors when the zoo is closed means that Lucy spends the majority of her time in a small barn. When she is allowed outside, she is restricted to an enclosure that is less than an acre in size. Lucy exhibits signs of mental distress and has health issues—including upper respiratory problems, arthritis, obesity, and chronic foot ailments —attributable to substandard and inadequate conditions at the Valley Zoo and further aggravated by the region's frigid climate.


The zoo’s management says it makes its decisions based on science, not emotion, yet if they were truly looking at the science, Lucy would have been moved with the first offer of retirement by The Elephant Sanctuary or PAWS. The Valley Zoo has repeatedly said that Lucy is too sick to be moved. Yet, at the same time, they post documents on their website saying she is doing quite well. The Zoo has refused an external panel of veterinary experts to examine her as they state it would be stressful for her and stress exacerbates her condition, yet the zoo allows school children in her enclosure.

We believe that Lucy's handlers at the Valley Zoo love her dearly and recognize that letting her go would be difficult for them. In kind, we hope that as a result of this love they can also acknowledge that Lucy’s life would be so much better at a sanctuary. The Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee has agreed to take Lucy as has PAWS Ark 2000 Sanctuary in California.
CLICK TO VISIT FRIENDS OF LUCY

CLICK TO READ TONY'S STORY

June 6, 2013

#BedtimeStory with a Shoe

Once Upon A Time...
A dastardly man named Rhottbottam fooled an elderly woman into giving him her pet rabbit, Bun Bun, by telling her a sob story about how he had a rabbit named Bun Bun when he was a boy who was his only friend. But all the while he was thinking... Yum! Braised rabbit would make a fine supper.

Lying in a sun puddle by his mistress's foot was Leo The Great, known among the local cats as @DaPussyKing because he had great leadership skills -- and also because he had impregnated most of the unspayed females in the county. 

Anyway! Leo was not only Great! He was also intelligent and saw past Rhottbottam's lies. His mistress loved that bunny, and would cry herself to sleep for many nights, something Leo wanted to avoid since it would keep him awake. He also noticed the condition of Rhottbottam's shoes, and was struck with a brilliant idea.

Some years before Leo's master went to heaven, but his mistress could never bear to part with her husband's belongings. After raiding the closet, Leo found the right pair of shoes. He also found a silly pink bunny costume left over from an Easter visit by his mistress's granddaughter. He put on the bunny costume and the shoes, then quickly ran after Rhottbottam.

Finding the man a ways down the road carrying Bun Bun in a cage, Leo quickly ran ahead, and took off his left shoe. After placing it on the side of the road, he hid behind a tree and waited.


When Rhottbottam came along and saw the shoe, he picked it up. "Wow. This is a good shoe! I need shoes, but I don't need just one shoe, so I won't take it."

When Leo saw that Rhottbottam was a ways down the road, he put on the left shoe, then quickly ran ahead where he took off the right shoe and put it on the road.


When Rhottbottam came upon the right shoe, he picked it up. "This is the right shoe to the left shoe I found earlier. I'll go back and grab it, and then I'll have two good new shoes."

He started to walk back, carrying the cage, then stopped. "This is getting heavy. I know! I will leave it behind this tree, along with the shoe."


Rhottbottam then ran back down the road to find the first shoe, but it was gone. He looked and looked, but could not find it anywhere.

Meanwhile, Leo the Great put on both shoes. 

He then slipped out of the pink bunny suit, crammed it inside the cage, and threw Bun Bun over his shoulder to return to his mistress.

When Rhottbottam finally returned, he discovered the right shoe gone. Then he saw the limp rabbit fur inside the cage. "Some beast ate my rabbit meat," he cried. "What a fool I am!" 
 And he was right.




Thank you for reading another #BedtimeStory. I hope you enjoyed it. If you would like to receive your #BedtimeStory in your mailbox, please sign up for Email delivery, or GooglePlus, or even Follow Me on either NetworkedBlogs or as a Google follower.

Today I entered myself in a beauty contest! I'd appreciate your vote.
I chose this photo cuz I look extra-intelligent...instead of crabby or bored or constipated.

 Please go to www.modern.cat.com/photocontest and type in Herman in search box. You can vote once every 12 hours for one cat. Contest ends June 28th.


This month I will publish my very own monthly mewsletter called ‘kick the litter’. It will be fun-packed with stuff about my private life, my career as a mews to my author mom, and stories from my past adventures in Kentucky and Pensacola. It also might have stuff about rescuing and raccoons since my mom likes to channel her inner Elly Mae and has a whole bunch of critters camping in our yard.

Mark your calendars for Saturday, June 22nd at 11:00 a.m. EST. I'm marrying my sweetiepie, Belle, @Frankencat1. #BelleHerm will be an EPIC wedding with a Cast of Thousands. The most pawsome wedding photos to date thanks to the wonderpurr @DanaPixie.

Anyway! Sign up for my mewsletter on the right, and for your trouble I will send you the first chapter of my forthcoming book called You Can't Be A Sidekick Without A Superhero, written by my mom, Kimberley Koz. And if you haven't done so already, follow me Herman!!! @TattleCat and my sisfur @Chef_Gidget on Twitter. And I haz my own Facebook Page as Herman.Tattlecat.

Goodnight, Sweet Dreams, and haz a Happily Ever After evening!

Herman!!!