July 10, 2013

#BedtimeStory with a Pirate

Once Upon A Time...

I was down by the docks when I saw an old sailor that looked just like a pirate from the movies with a peg-leg and an eye-patch. He even a hook for a hand!

I guess I was staring at him because he came stamping over to me and said, "Arrrr! I saw ye lookin at me! Bet yer wond'rin hows I got this peg-leg? Well... it was HORRIBLE!"

Actually, I didn't want to hear the details, but he sat me down and started to tell me anyway.

"Me ship was a cannonading another ship, when they lets go with a broadside themselves," said the pirate. "Whoooom, off goes me leg. Arrrrr!"

Then he turned to walk away when suddenly he turned back and said, "Arrrr. I saw ye still lookin at me! Bet yer wond'rin hows I got this hook fer a hand? Well... it was HORRIBLE!"

Again, I didn't want to hear the details, but there he was, all set to tell me his story.

"Me ship was boarded by Malay pirates and we all draws swords and thrusts and parrys and parrys and thrusts! But I thrusted when I should'a parried. Whomp, off goes me hand! Arrrrr!"

Then he turned to walk away when suddenly he turned back and says... "Arrrr. I saw ye STILL lookin at me! Bet yer wond'rin hows I got this eyepatch? Well... it was HORRIBLE!"

Anxious to get away from this guy cuz I had to go widdle pretty bad, I inpurr-rupted him and said, "I bet you got an itch in your eye and forgot you had a hook for a hand. Arrrrr!"

At that, the old pirate stamped his way down the dock, never once looking back at me.

Moral of the story is, if you has to widdle real bad, avoid pirates.


Don't Mess Wif Me!