May 29, 2013

Bedtime Story with Soup

Once Upon A Time...

@Chef_Gidget was on her way to visit another World Wonder when she started to get hungry and decided to stop in Twitterville for a meal.  In the mood for Chiken Ka-Bobs and a Bacon Beer, she went to #NipClub, but found their doors locked with a sign that read: Closed Until Further Notice by order of Mayor Twitmo.

"Hm. They must have had one heckuva pawty last night," she said to herself. Then she went to #AthenasDiner where @AthenaCatGoddes served the freshest fish in town, but Athena was also closed by Mayor Twitmo. "What the Friskies!" Gidget gasped.

"Mayor Twitmo closed #BrekkieClub too," said @SkeeterTheTabby from behind her.

Gidget just stared at him with her mouth open. Not her best look, but she was stunned. "Why?"

Skeeter shrugged. "We think its a control thing. You know how Twitmo shuts us down when we are having too much fun at pawties. There we are, purring and barking and ... whatever sound bunnies make... and BAM! He says we can't tweet no more."

Gidget had jumped a foot when Skeeter yelled BAM! That's why she refused to follow @Emeril Lagasse even though she was a renown chef herself.  "There has to be something we can do. Do Anipals have a lawyer? Did @NerissaTheCat publish a BREAKING NEWS piece? Did @TheMooshies report this in The Mooshie Chronicles?

The way Skeeter covered his eyes with his paws sent chills up Gidget's spine. "All reporters and mewspapers have been closed by Mayor Twitmo, too. Kirsten @bdgrlaw is working on it, but until its all sorted out, we are starving!"

Just then a light breeze drifted through Twitterville. Known for her gourmet-sensitive nose, Gidget sniffed the air. Then she looked mysterious. "No worries. I have the ingredients to make Bouncy Ball Soup. Why don't I make enough to feed everyone in Twitterville?"

Skeeter twitched his ears with confusion. "But...bouncy balls are meant to be played with, not eaten."

Gidget put her paws on her hips. "I am a world renown gourmet chef. I can make anything edible. Now, bring me an iron cauldron so I can get started."

As Skeeter rolled his cauldron into Tweet Square, Gidget asked @Rockstarwalrus to fill it with water, and @SqueakyElvis aka the Bad Boys of Twitter, were put in charge of building a fire.

Once the water in the cauldron began to bubble, with great ceremony Gidget drew a bright orange rubber ball from a silken bag and dropped it into the water. Then she said to @3PhiBotticelli, "Would you please fetch me a stick?"

"Whee!" Phi spun in circle, wagging her tail. "Me run fast. Me be right back!" and off she went.

By now rumors of food had spread throughout Twitterville and hungry Anipals were leaving their sun puddles and squeaky toys and ... whatever bunnies play with ... to gather in Twit Square. @MiaandManu told anyone who would listen that they had heard about @Chef_Gidget traveling to World Wonders and read her recipes published on her brother's Wonderpurr blog, but they were still highly skeptical that she could make anything edible out of a bouncy ball.
Accustomed to being the center of attention, Gidget leaned over the bubbling cauldron and sniffed the bouncy ball broth, licking her whiskers in anticipation. 
Soon Phi came running back with a large stick and proudly dropped it at Gidget's feet, wagging her tail. "Whee! Me found big stick!"
After patting Phi's face, Gidget used the stick to stir the broth, all the while pawing the aroma into her gourmet-sensitive nose. "Ahh. It's coming along nicely," she purred softly, though loud enough for @CheekyGCC2012 and @_Susie273 to hear.  "This will be my finest soup ever. If only I had a carrot to make my soup extra orangey. Oh well...." She stirred the soup some more.
Meanwhile, Susie turned to @ScottyTheBunny and said, "Your breath smells like carrots. Bring one for Gidget to use in the soup to make it extra orangey."
"Go on," exclaimed Cheeky. "Hop to it!"
Excited by the idea of extra orangey soup, Scotty did a triple binky, then gathered his bunny pals, @B @ @BunnyNala @ and @BaileyBun1 to gather all the carrots they could find. Bunnies are known for overdoing it sometimes, so Gidget wasn't surprised when the herd of bunnies dropped several dozen carrots into the cauldron.
"Wonderpurr!" she cried. "This will be the bestest, orangiest soup I've ever made, and your tummies will be full as soon as I finish." She stirred the cauldron a little more, then paused to gaze into the distance as though she was remembering something. "I once made Extra Orangey Bouncy Ball Soup with carrots, but when I added a beef bone...well. The soup was fit for a queen!" She slid a sly glance at @Queen_Greta who exclaimed, "I'm a Queen! I shouldn't eat Extra Orangey Bouncy Ball Soup without a beef bone. I think I know where to find one."
Gidget twitched her whiskers. "An extra beefy, beef bone would make your soup even tastier," she purred.
"I will be right back." Greta turned to fetch, then realized she was a Queen and instead sent @Stanley_dog @ @P and @ to fetch all the extra beefy beef bones they could find. Soon they returned with half a cow and added it to the cauldron.
"Now we'll have a real feast," exclaimed Gidget. She leaned over the cauldron to inhale the broth. "If only..." She sighed. "Too bad."
"What?" asked Jazz @ClingyCat. "What else should go into our Extra Orangey Bouncy Ball Soup? I can bring you some bush tucker: bogong moths, witchetty grubs, lizards and snakes. Maybe even a jar of Vegemite!"
"That all sounds nommilicious," Gidget politely said while secretly shuddering at the thought of eating Vegemite, "but I was just recalling how potatoes tasted so good when added to this soup. That was a long time ago, however, when Anipals had food. Now, if I had even one mushroom, or a chicken leg, or a turkey leg... Even a handful of brown rice would make this soup the tastiest, bestest ever Extra Orangey Bouncy Ball Soup in the world!"
 Anipals scattered in all directions to raid their secret food stashes, hidden when Mayor Twitmo closed #NipClub, #BrekkieClub and #AthenasDiner. Soon the cauldron overflowed with meat and veggies, and even a couple tablespoons of Vegemite that @ClingyCat sneaked in. And when @Chef_Gidget pronounced it  done, she scooped out the orange bouncy ball, tucked it inside the silken bag and put it back in her pocket.
Having smelled the delicious soup from his office high atop Twitterville Towers, Mayor Twitmo arrived with an extra huge bowl for his own portion of soup. However, the crowd around the cauldron was so thick he coudln't elbow his way through, and so he had to get in line. Since he was the last one in line, by the time he arrived at the cauldron, the soup was gone.
"Too bad, so sad," said Gidget, cleaning her whiskers of the Extra Orangey Bouncy Ball Soup. "If only #NipClub or #AthenasDiner were open. I could give them my recipe to make more. Maybe @SkeeterTheTabby could even serve some at #BrekkieClub. But... of course those fine eateries are closed."
The Mayor turned bright green and said, "No! I want them reopened. Quick! Give them your recipe so I may have my big bowl filled with Extra Orangey Bouncy Ball Soup."
But everyone was so full of soup, they wandered off to find sun puddles and soft beds to take a nice long nap, leaving Mayor Twitmo with his tummy growling and mouth drooling. Used to not waiting for what he wanted, the Mayor reached into his pocket for money. "Here," he said to Gidget. "I will buy that orange bouncy ball off you and will have my staff make me my own soup."
"You can't have it," said Gidget. "Now, I must be on my way to explore the World Wonders."
"Please!" the Mayor begged, throwing himself at her feet. "Please! I must have Extra Orangey Bouncy Ball Soup."
Gidget stepped back so the mayor's drool wouldn't hit her paw. "I would willingly take your money for my pawsome orange bouncy ball so you can make soup for the rest of your life and never go hungry, but the problem is, the ball won't make soup for anyone in the government. It makes soup only for the general public. So... Buh Bye!"
"Wait," shouted the Mayor over the roar of his growling tummy. "I will give up my office. I will resign from Mayor of Twitterville." He pointed to @MinnieForMayor. "You've been running for office for over thirteen hundred tweets. Here! The job is yours." He gave his mayor badge to Minnie, who instantly glowed with mayoral magnificence.
Then Twitmo thrust a huge wad of cash into Gidget's paws. "Now, give me the orange bouncy ball so I can eat soup the rest of my life."
Gidget tossed him the silken bag containing the ball.
"Is this really happening," asked Minnie. "Am I really Mayor of Twitterville?" With long time supporters congratulating her, Minnie proclaimed May 29th Official Orange Bouncy Ball Soup Day. "Though sadly, now that Ex-Mayor Twitmo has the ball, we will never again enjoy Extra Orangey Bouncy Ball Soup."
Gidget pocketed a few bills, then handed the rest of the cash over to @DanaPixie for charity donations. "Actually, that ball loses its flavor after one soup. However..." She pulled a white athletic sock out of her pocket. "There is nothing better than my award-winning Tube Sock Steak."
Thanks for reading tonight's story. If you enjoyed it, please leave a comment and maybe tell me the titles of your favorite stories when you were a pup or kitten. I love comments!

Dear Pals,

If you would like to receive your #BedtimeStory in your mailbox, please sign up for Email delivery, or GooglePlus, or even Follow Me (hint hint) on either NetworkedBlogs or as a Google follower.

And in June I will publish a mewsletter called kick the litter, so please sign up on the right column and for your trouble I will send you the first chapter of my forthcoming book called You Can't Be A Sidekick Without A Superhero, written by my mom, Kimberley Koz.

Also...if you haven't done so already, follow me Herman!!! @TattleCat and my sisfur @Chef_Gidget on Twitter. And I haz my own Facebook Page as Herman.Tattlecat.

I'm also getting married to Belle @Frankencat1 on June 22nd. However, this Friday at 3 pm. EST you are all invited to attend the Bachelor/Hen pawty Belle and I are hosting. Instead of pawsents and norty strippers, we are inviting you to our new home where we will take you on a Mystery Adventure Pawty. Dress comfy casual and bring your claws. You will need them.

This is the link to twtvite, so if you need more information, please click here. #BelleHerm.

Heck yah, I'm a busy boy!

Goodnight, Sweet Dreams, and haz a Happily Ever After evening!




  1. Now I'm in the mood for orange bouncy ball soup and tube steak!!

  2. I love this story Herman! Now I'm all ready for bed. I'm gonna dream 'bout Gidget's soup *stretches out on bed and closes eyes* you is a pawsome storyteller!

  3. What a grand tail purrfect for bed time too!xx Speedy

  4. What a FANTASTIC story! I laughed... I cried... It was better than Cats.

    Peep wants to know if there's a veggie version of the bouncy ball soup.


  5. Awwww. That was cute! And brilliant!


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