May 30, 2013

#BedtimeStory with Skunks

Once Upon A Time…

There lived a family of skunks in a hollow tree: Mamastinck, Papastinck, and their twins, Enderstinck, called ‘En’ for short, and Ouderstinck, called Ouderstinck for short. (The name really doesn’t lend to shortening, unfortunately.)

From birth the twins were polar opposites. En enjoyed working dirty jobs like crocodile wrestling, wild goose chasing, and geoduck farming, while Ouderstinck pursued a more refined line of work using toothpicks to craft teeny tiny Viking dragon boats inside empty maple syrup bottles acquired from Cracker Barrel.

They were so opposite, that whenever En went out, Ouderstinck came in. And whenever Ouderstinck went out, En came in. And if Ouderstinck happened to be in, and wanted to go out, he would wait until En came in before he went Oud. I mean, out.

One day a huge storm blew in unexpectedly. With the wind whipping leaves from trees, and dark skies grumbling like a hungry old bear, Mamastinck and Papastinck wanted their twins safe before Mother Nature went all hormonal on them. First they checked to see whether En was in and Ouderstinck was out, or if Ouderstinck was in and En was out.

They were relieved to see Ouderstinck building his thirteenth-hundred Viking dragon boat in a maple syrup bottle, but his twin was nowhere to be found. “Ouderstinck,” said Mamastinck, “please go out and bring En inside. I'm worried the storm will blow him away."

“Sure, Mamastinck." Ouderstinck put aside his toothpicks and left the hollow tree.

“I believe this is the very first time Ouderstinck and En were out at the same time,” said Papastinck, adjusting the dials on his storm radio.

Busy replenishing their Storm Closet First Aid Kit with aspirin, eyewash, toothpaste and laxatives, Mamastinck murmured, “Yes, dear.” She had been married long enough to know whatever he had to say wasn’t all that important anyway.

A minute or two later Ouderstinck came back in, and En was right behind him.

“Lookit, Mamastinck,” said Papastinck. “For the first time En and Ouderstinck are in at the same time.”

With her hands full of suppositories, sterile gloves, chewing gum and bleach, Mamastinck asked with clear amazement, "Ouderstinck! How did you find your brother so quickly?"

"Oh, it was easy," said Ouderstinck. "En stinked!"


Don’t get it?


Okay. Now you may groan.

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