June 4, 2013

#BedtimeStory with a Bug

 Once Upon A Time...

@CapnPeanutzilla was at home, eating homemade pot roast with braised potatoes and watching Dr. Drew on Call, when the doorbell rang. Although he hated being bugged during his dinnertime, he answered the door anyway. There stood a 6 foot tall cockroach. Before Peanut could tell it to ‘bug off’, the cockroach punched him between the eyes and ran away.

"What the Friskies!" Peanut gasped, rubbing his sore nose.

The next night, Peanut was watching Nancy Grace, eating pan-seared tuna with buttery carrots when again, the doorbell rang. “I really hate being bugged during dinnertime,” he grumbled, but still answered the door. There stood the same cockroach from the night before. "Hey!" said Peanut. "Why did you--"

But before he could complete his sentence, the cockroach again punched him. It also kicked Peanut in the knee and karate chopped his shoulder before running away.

"Arrrgh!" said Peanut, rubbing his nose, his knee and his shoulder.

The following night, a very sore Peanut was sucking soup from a straw while watching HLN After Dark when again, the doorbell rang. Earlier Peanut had asked his brother @GromekCat if he knew what to do about this crazy cockroach.
"Why do you even answer the door?" asked Gromek. "I know how you hate to be bugged during dinnertime."
"I do, but I also hate not knowing what's behind the door," Peanut admitted.
Gromek said he'd get back to him, but so far hadn't. Peanut thought about not answering the door, but when it started ringing non-stop, the sound made him kinda crazy, so he decided to answer it, but first grabbed a baseball bat that he happened to have lying nearby. When he opened the door, sure enough, there stood the cockroach.

This time the roach grabbed the baseball bat from Peanut and clobbered him silly before running off.

“Erp!” mewed the injured Peanut as he pulled out his pawPhone and called an ambulance. When the paramedics arrived they found him unconscious, looking like he'd gone two rounds with Mike Tyson. Peanut was rushed to the hospital where they saved his life. The next morning, when the doctor asked what happened, Peanut explained about the 6 foot cockroach's attacks, culminating in the near fatal beating with his very own baseball bat.

The doctor thought for a moment and said...

"Yes. There's a nasty bug going around."

Okay. You can groan now.

Thank you for reading another #BedtimeStory. I hope you enjoyed it. If you would like to receive your #BedtimeStory in your mailbox, please sign up for Email delivery, or GooglePlus, or even Follow Me on either NetworkedBlogs or as a Google follower.

Today I entered myself in a beauty contest! I'd appreciate your vote.
I chose this photo cuz I look extra-intelligent...instead of crabby or bored or constipated.

 Please go to www.modern.cat.com/photocontest and if you don't see my photo aka Herman!!! please type my name in search box. You can vote once every 12 hours for one cat. Contest ends June 28th.

This month I will publish my very own monthly mewsletter called ‘kick the litter’. It will be fun-packed with stuff about my private life, my career as a mews to my author mom, and stories from my past adventures in Kentucky and Pensacola. It also might have stuff about rescuing and raccoons since my mom likes to channel her inner Elly Mae and has a whole bunch of critters camping in our yard.

Mark your calendars for Saturday, June 22nd at 11:00 a.m. EST. I'm marrying my sweetiepie, Belle, @Frankencat1. #BelleHerm will be an EPIC wedding with a Cast of Thousands. The most pawsome wedding photos to date thanks to the wonderpurr @DanaPixie.

Anyway! Sign up for my mewsletter on the right, and for your trouble I will send you the first chapter of my forthcoming book called You Can't Be A Sidekick Without A Superhero, written by my mom, Kimberley Koz. And if you haven't done so already, follow me Herman!!! @TattleCat and my sisfur @Chef_Gidget on Twitter. And I haz my own Facebook Page as Herman.Tattlecat.

Goodnight, Sweet Dreams, and haz a Happily Ever After evening!





  1. hehehe you do make me giggle Herman,xx Speedy

  2. Hmmm... too bad the doctor didn't have a pill for that bug, or somethin'. What a bug!


  3. Oh my! I'm glad I didn't read this before bedtime!



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