June 6, 2013

#BedtimeStory with a Shoe

Once Upon A Time...
A dastardly man named Rhottbottam fooled an elderly woman into giving him her pet rabbit, Bun Bun, by telling her a sob story about how he had a rabbit named Bun Bun when he was a boy who was his only friend. But all the while he was thinking... Yum! Braised rabbit would make a fine supper.

Lying in a sun puddle by his mistress's foot was Leo The Great, known among the local cats as @DaPussyKing because he had great leadership skills -- and also because he had impregnated most of the unspayed females in the county. 

Anyway! Leo was not only Great! He was also intelligent and saw past Rhottbottam's lies. His mistress loved that bunny, and would cry herself to sleep for many nights, something Leo wanted to avoid since it would keep him awake. He also noticed the condition of Rhottbottam's shoes, and was struck with a brilliant idea.

Some years before Leo's master went to heaven, but his mistress could never bear to part with her husband's belongings. After raiding the closet, Leo found the right pair of shoes. He also found a silly pink bunny costume left over from an Easter visit by his mistress's granddaughter. He put on the bunny costume and the shoes, then quickly ran after Rhottbottam.

Finding the man a ways down the road carrying Bun Bun in a cage, Leo quickly ran ahead, and took off his left shoe. After placing it on the side of the road, he hid behind a tree and waited.


When Rhottbottam came along and saw the shoe, he picked it up. "Wow. This is a good shoe! I need shoes, but I don't need just one shoe, so I won't take it."

When Leo saw that Rhottbottam was a ways down the road, he put on the left shoe, then quickly ran ahead where he took off the right shoe and put it on the road.


When Rhottbottam came upon the right shoe, he picked it up. "This is the right shoe to the left shoe I found earlier. I'll go back and grab it, and then I'll have two good new shoes."

He started to walk back, carrying the cage, then stopped. "This is getting heavy. I know! I will leave it behind this tree, along with the shoe."


Rhottbottam then ran back down the road to find the first shoe, but it was gone. He looked and looked, but could not find it anywhere.

Meanwhile, Leo the Great put on both shoes. 

He then slipped out of the pink bunny suit, crammed it inside the cage, and threw Bun Bun over his shoulder to return to his mistress.

When Rhottbottam finally returned, he discovered the right shoe gone. Then he saw the limp rabbit fur inside the cage. "Some beast ate my rabbit meat," he cried. "What a fool I am!" 
 And he was right.




Thank you for reading another #BedtimeStory. I hope you enjoyed it. If you would like to receive your #BedtimeStory in your mailbox, please sign up for Email delivery, or GooglePlus, or even Follow Me on either NetworkedBlogs or as a Google follower.

Today I entered myself in a beauty contest! I'd appreciate your vote.
I chose this photo cuz I look extra-intelligent...instead of crabby or bored or constipated.

 Please go to www.modern.cat.com/photocontest and type in Herman in search box. You can vote once every 12 hours for one cat. Contest ends June 28th.


This month I will publish my very own monthly mewsletter called ‘kick the litter’. It will be fun-packed with stuff about my private life, my career as a mews to my author mom, and stories from my past adventures in Kentucky and Pensacola. It also might have stuff about rescuing and raccoons since my mom likes to channel her inner Elly Mae and has a whole bunch of critters camping in our yard.

Mark your calendars for Saturday, June 22nd at 11:00 a.m. EST. I'm marrying my sweetiepie, Belle, @Frankencat1. #BelleHerm will be an EPIC wedding with a Cast of Thousands. The most pawsome wedding photos to date thanks to the wonderpurr @DanaPixie.

Anyway! Sign up for my mewsletter on the right, and for your trouble I will send you the first chapter of my forthcoming book called You Can't Be A Sidekick Without A Superhero, written by my mom, Kimberley Koz. And if you haven't done so already, follow me Herman!!! @TattleCat and my sisfur @Chef_Gidget on Twitter. And I haz my own Facebook Page as Herman.Tattlecat.

Goodnight, Sweet Dreams, and haz a Happily Ever After evening!

Herman!!!

Don't Mess Wif Me!