June 5, 2013

#BedtimeStory with a Dog

Once Upon A Time...

A butcher noticed a dog in his shop around closing time. Since Health Inspectors kinda frown on having pets around food, he shooed  the dog away. But then he noticed the dog had a note in his mouth that read, "Can I have 12 sausages and a rib-eye steak, please." Along with the note the dog had a fifty dollar bill. So the butcher took the money, put the food in a bag and gave it to the dog. The dog then left the shop.

Curious about this dog, the butcher decided to follow it. He watched as it came to a crossing, and was surprised when the dog put down the bag, jumped up and pressed the crossing button. Then he waited patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to change. When they did, he crossed the road. The butcher followed.

Then the dog came to a bus stop. When it looked at the schedule, as if checking the times, the butcher was shocked. Then the dog sat on the bench to wait for the bus. When a bus came along, the dog walked to the front of the bus, looked at the number, but then returned to his seat. When yet another bus came along, the dog again looked at the number, apparently saw it was the right bus, and climbed aboard. The butcher, by now open-mouthed, also boarded the bus.

The bus traveled thru town and out to the suburbs with the butcher sitting behind the dog, watching it. It seemed like a normal dog, but so far it had performed some amazing tricks. He really wanted to meet the dog's trainer.

Eventually the dog got up, moved to the front of the bus, stood on his hind legs and pushed the button to stop the bus. The butcher followed as the dog got off with bag in mouth and headed home. Finally, the dog walked up the path to a house and dropped the groceries on the step. Then he walked back down the street, turned and ran at the door, throwing himself against it. He then returned to the path, and again ran at the door, throwing himself against it, with the butcher wondering what was going on.

As there was no answer at the door, the dog then jumped onto a narrow wall and walked the perimeter to a window where he banged his head against it several times. He then jumped  off the wall, and ran to wait by the front door. Soon a big guy opened the door, and started yelling at the dog.

The butcher ran over to stop him. "What the heck are you doing? This dog is a genius. He could be on TV."

"Oh really?" the guy snarled. "Well, this is the second time this week the genius has forgotten his key."

 

 
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Today I entered myself in a beauty contest! I'd appreciate your vote.
I chose this photo cuz I look extra-intelligent...instead of crabby or bored or constipated.

 Please go to www.modern.cat.com/photocontest and if you don't see my photo aka Herman!!! please type my name in search box. You can vote once every 12 hours for one cat. Contest ends June 28th.

This month I will publish my very own monthly mewsletter called ‘kick the litter’. It will be fun-packed with stuff about my private life, my career as a mews to my author mom, and stories from my past adventures in Kentucky and Pensacola. It also might have stuff about rescuing and raccoons since my mom likes to channel her inner Elly Mae and has a whole bunch of critters camping in our yard.

Mark your calendars for Saturday, June 22nd at 11:00 a.m. EST. I'm marrying my sweetiepie, Belle, @Frankencat1. #BelleHerm will be an EPIC wedding with a Cast of Thousands. The most pawsome wedding photos to date thanks to the wonderpurr @DanaPixie.

Anyway! Sign up for my mewsletter on the right, and for your trouble I will send you the first chapter of my forthcoming book called You Can't Be A Sidekick Without A Superhero, written by my mom, Kimberley Koz. And if you haven't done so already, follow me Herman!!! @TattleCat and my sisfur @Chef_Gidget on Twitter. And I haz my own Facebook Page as Herman.Tattlecat.

Goodnight, Sweet Dreams, and haz a Happily Ever After evening!

Herman!!!
 


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